there is a need to clarify the whole situation, so i think its better for me to type and write it out the whole story.

Okies, let me start from about a week ago. I had a friend called weiliang who posted me a facebook message saying that we have not met up for quite long and he did not have my number. And after that, i posted a msg back to him and we exchanged our contact number. He is quite a good friend from mine that i know during sec sch and JC days where we always stayed back after school to play basketball or soccer tgt. Then on Sunday night, he called me, asking me when am i free to meet up. As we chat along on the phone, i also shunbian ask him if he have an job lobang or offers that can intro to me as i just withdraw from my course in poly so i will be free at least for a few mths. He actually said yes, and he told me he is actually working as a sales manager in a company called Premier Pure where the office is located near Bugis MRT. He said how about tml ( which is monday ) since i am free, but i told him not so soon la, next 2 weeks i have something on, and after that soon we hang up lor.

Next day, which is monday morning, i left the house at about 645am. Reached the hospital at about 8am and has my check up there lor. Like what i told you, the doctor gave me 2 choices. So in the end i chose the 2nd route, which is continue taking a stronger dosage of antibodies over a period of time. So everything ended at about 11am-1130am lidat if i rmb correctly.
After that i went home and called my friend weiliang if the interview can still be on. He said yes and so i went down immediately for interview on that day at the bugis area there. And after that i told him i can give a try in this job. So on monday and tuesday whole day, i was basically at the office undergoing lessons and training until very late, cos for sales u need to know the products u are selling and the benefits etc. So even when u called me at 10 plus in the night, i am still at work.

So for wednesday morning or early afternoon, u and nick came over to my house. heard from my mum that u all basically chatted for very long and when i ask her what u all chatted, she oso duno how say and basically just said u all chatted alot, even about ur family etc and where u studying etc ( ok thats not impt). from my mum, heard that my dad also chatted with u all briefly about how i am doing in sch etc. The reason is because
he firstly thinks that just the problem in health should not stop me from continuing this course. he told me that after i recovered, i can always still go back and continue my studies and he doesnt want me to just withdraw or quit just like that. But i did explain to him that " dad, yes u are maybe right that i can always go back and continue my course in NYP and that i should not quit just like that, but would u rather me quit now or you want to force me to continue for a while more (probably 1 yr later) and tell u that i am going to quit. Like that, isnt it a more waste of time plus i am a guy and i basically already wasted 2 yrs inside army already. i told him that its something that i have think through because basically in the first place when i wanna join this course, i think its a meaningful job that can earn money and help people at the same time. But after that i realise this is not a job that i feel i can gain any satisfaction in.
actually some of the reasons can be summarised which i have told JB and LS through SMS (this is wad i sms them that time) u can ask them to show u the msg or the msg till nw still in my inbox
i told them this thru sms:
i dont know what i want anymore. I have never been so unhappy before and i am no longer sure what i want. I used to think OT is something that i like, but from what i am studying, its not something what i want, i tot maybe even if i lose interest, i could still carry on by hanging on tgt with the class but i sometimes find myself hard to blend with the class and hard to learn things ( as judged from mobility) even if i am doing my best. i know its my problem n i dread so much going to school. But i think what i can do now is to maybe hang on until the end of this term and see how i feel about it. if its the same as how i feel now, i will want to reset my thinkings what i want to do, after that decide where i want to go, be it local or overseas.

and so i told my dad the same thing. He was basically v down and disappointed la, thats why after that i sms u that i felt that i have disappointed my dad , especially when among my bro, sis and me, he have the highest expectations towards me. So maybe when he or my mum ask u about me, he wanna try to find out how i am doing in sch etc to maybe understand more or verify.

I am at fault also for not informing u immediately on monday or even on tuesday that i am discharged from hospital in the sense that maybe all these misunderstand will not occur. In sms or phone, i keep saying ytd, keep forgetting today is wednesday, keep thinking today is tuesday For those 2 days ( monday and tues), i was having lessons in company whole day and i neglected or forgotten about telling u all these. As for the antibiotics and my health problem, i did not lie to u ar. i was on medication since end of May and i can even show u the medication personally if u really wanna see. U can ask my whole family, or even my sister ( since u already have her hp number) as they know i need to take my medication of antibiotics everyday.

I duno whether what i have said above has done anything to help. But all these can be verified. The sms ( u can check with LS and JB), the conversation with my dad that he is disappointed etc ( maybe my mum mention it to u ytd) , about my friend weiliang ( the facebook msg is still in my fb, i can give u the password and u can login to check as it is still inside my message box) and the antibiotics ( u can ask my family or i can even show u the medication)

whether or not after all this, u still believe in me not impt already. Maybe u will think that i am saying the truth, or maybe u will feel i am trying to fabricate a story to bluff u but at least i think i tried to explain everything in full detail.

this yr hasnt been a smooth sailing one for me, but have to see it as a yr full of obstacles for me to overcome, i will emerge this yr to become a stronger person.

Past 3 months has really been a gd experience for me, knowing many good friends in the process who has been there for me whenever i need them
Knowing you is one of the best things that have happened for me this year ( i know when u see this, u will think that i am trying to be cheesy again), but thats the truth. This is because you have made an impact in my life really.
Sometimes the way u view things has also made me reflect and change my perspectives on certain matters. Like how u have made me think that sometimes my thinkings are shallow on certain matters. Do u know that the way u behave can be contagious as well?
Like in school, everytime seeing u laughing away over any matters, i will smile or laugh unknowingly. That time seeing you cry outside the LTH1 after u broke the news to the class that u are leaving, i dont feel gd as well ( although i will not show it). When u ask me why i am so silly to still like you, i also dont know why ar. maybe sometimes such things cannot be explained with a reason. i am not sure why i have such strong feelings but yea i know what i should do. Just give me a bit more time and hopefully all these will fade away

But would to thank you and priya for being such wonderful friends really, for being able to there whenever i need help or gt problems

Should the worse really happen, just take it with a pinch of salt
I remember the article that i have read yesterday during the meeting
There are 4 things that is unavoidable in life, and one of them is death isnt it?
So if that happens, jus accept it and know that i will be well whenever i am

Remember to live happily and work hard in ur new course ar

Goodbye :)

yesterday saw my mum broke down..

she is so tired being repeatedly called to take care of my grandma

Other people doesnt seem to care and all are reliant on her

on every thing, they will just call her and she will need to go down and help

Being her son, what i did was to give her a hug and tell her to hang on there

what else can i do?

knowing that u made a decision to quit the course, i really felt quite sad

Afterall this is a personal decision that u made and as a friend, we can only support it

Just think carefully and make sure that whatever decision u make, u are firm on it

I believed you will have been a good OT if u had decided to carry on

Maybe the course is tough, full of projects and things to study

but should all of us get stuck in together and persevere, all of us will be able to hang on

However, if u have already lost interest in OT, maybe it will be wise to move on and choose another subject or course to study.

the thought of not being able to see you anymore in sch really hurts

u might say why am i so foolish n stupid again to be upset over you again when there are other more impt things around or many other girls to look to in the future

i know we might be impossible, but at least everyday i know at least i will be able to see u from far , i will be already satisfied..

but u have decided that ur future lies elsewhere so there's nth much i can really do anymore..

i really like you

dont ask me why

sometimes liking someone doesnt need a reason

call me stupid, stubborn or foolish or whatever

thats just me

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

Things to do

Healthcare PPT slides ( by week 9 wednesday)

Sociology Slides ( Week 8 sunday)

CPS Model ( first draft by week 8 sunday, 2nd draft by week 9 wednesday)

Anatomy

Physiology

its really not my intention to try to act wei da or wad, i am just mentioning my stand and thoughts thats all, but if thats how u really decipher what i write, then its ok also

Kinda felt guilty that i didnt contribute much to the projs so far

usually really couldnt come out with ideas that others can think of

usually cant visualise what others are saying

why am i so dumb!

it's been a long time since i last see you.

hope u are coming back from Australia soon

gt lots of things to catch up with u!

already can feel ur indifference...

my fault.. why did things turn out this way..sometimes a few mistakes will just ruin everything

really down

我真的好累，

为什么这几个星期事情会这么不顺

我真的好不想呆在这个家

好希望能够好好的诉苦一番

憋在心里我真的好难受

可是又能跟谁说呢

每个人都有自己的人生，自己的问题，谁能够有耐心的听我说呢，谁真的能让我好好的依靠

再多的不开心也不能在家里或学校表现出来

父母已经有很多烦恼了，哪里可以让他们看到我不开心的一面，让他们担心我呢

只希望这一切能赶快结束， 虽然至少还要几个月的时间

从来没觉得这么孤独，害怕过

每一天只能在很晚的时候，每个人都睡觉的时候，好好的哭出来。。