yesterday saw my mum broke down..

she is so tired being repeatedly called to take care of my grandma

Other people doesnt seem to care and all are reliant on her

on every thing, they will just call her and she will need to go down and help

Being her son, what i did was to give her a hug and tell her to hang on there

what else can i do?

knowing that u made a decision to quit the course, i really felt quite sad

Afterall this is a personal decision that u made and as a friend, we can only support it

Just think carefully and make sure that whatever decision u make, u are firm on it

I believed you will have been a good OT if u had decided to carry on

Maybe the course is tough, full of projects and things to study

but should all of us get stuck in together and persevere, all of us will be able to hang on

However, if u have already lost interest in OT, maybe it will be wise to move on and choose another subject or course to study.

the thought of not being able to see you anymore in sch really hurts

u might say why am i so foolish n stupid again to be upset over you again when there are other more impt things around or many other girls to look to in the future

i know we might be impossible, but at least everyday i know at least i will be able to see u from far , i will be already satisfied..

but u have decided that ur future lies elsewhere so there's nth much i can really do anymore..

i really like you

dont ask me why

sometimes liking someone doesnt need a reason

call me stupid, stubborn or foolish or whatever

thats just me

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

Things to do

Healthcare PPT slides ( by week 9 wednesday)

Sociology Slides ( Week 8 sunday)

CPS Model ( first draft by week 8 sunday, 2nd draft by week 9 wednesday)

Anatomy

Physiology

its really not my intention to try to act wei da or wad, i am just mentioning my stand and thoughts thats all, but if thats how u really decipher what i write, then its ok also

Kinda felt guilty that i didnt contribute much to the projs so far

usually really couldnt come out with ideas that others can think of

usually cant visualise what others are saying

why am i so dumb!

it's been a long time since i last see you.

hope u are coming back from Australia soon

gt lots of things to catch up with u!

already can feel ur indifference...

my fault.. why did things turn out this way..sometimes a few mistakes will just ruin everything

really down

我真的好累，

为什么这几个星期事情会这么不顺

我真的好不想呆在这个家

好希望能够好好的诉苦一番

憋在心里我真的好难受

可是又能跟谁说呢

每个人都有自己的人生，自己的问题，谁能够有耐心的听我说呢，谁真的能让我好好的依靠

再多的不开心也不能在家里或学校表现出来

父母已经有很多烦恼了，哪里可以让他们看到我不开心的一面，让他们担心我呢

只希望这一切能赶快结束， 虽然至少还要几个月的时间

从来没觉得这么孤独，害怕过

每一天只能在很晚的时候，每个人都睡觉的时候，好好的哭出来。。

歌曲：兄妹

对我好对我好好到无路可退
可是我也很想有个人陪
才不愿把你得罪于是那么迂回
一时进一时退保持安全范围
这个阴谋让我好惭愧
享受被爱滋味却不让你想入非非
就让我们虚伪
有感情别浪费
不能相爱的一对
亲爱像两兄妹
爱让我们虚伪
我得到于事无补的安慰
你也得到模仿爱上一个人的机会
残忍也不是慈悲
这样的关系你说多完美
眼看你看著我看得那么暧昧
被爱爱人原来一样可悲
为甚么竟然防备别人给我献媚
不能推不能要要了怕你误会
让我想起曾经爱过谁
我所要的她不给好像小偷一样卑微

never felt such lonely and fearful before..

i am tired, really mentally tired

sometimes really wish for someone physically beside me for me to lean on

At this moment, i broke down

only way is to cry it out under the blanket

2011

When problems come, it just comes together..
i know i have to hang on, stay strong,
but no, i really cannot take it anymore


Just came back from the hospital again,
It really hurts me to see my grandma at this current state.
Terminal stage cancer and just slipped into a coma stage.
Sometimes i wonder whether i have been a good grandson to her
I used to remember the days where i stayed over at her house during weekends
I used to chat with her through the wee hrs, go to market early in the morning with her and buy the ingredients to cook my fav dishes
Nw seeing her at this stage, she is not even 70, i am nt sure how long more she can hang on.
Sometimes i wondered, Is it better to let her continue to live like this as long as possible or should she be spared all these sufferings and leave this world?
Not just grandma, now my grandpa is also lying in hospital, it really sucks to see my dad working so hard and until so late everyday struggling for the finances to support the medical bills and our family. My mum has to go to hospital everyday to take care of them.
And now, my dad gt into some legal issues with his work.

I sometimes really dread to go home everyday. Now my home is not like the past where there are so much laughter. Everyday i go home, it is usually empty, parents will not be around, but i know how mentally tired they are and how much they are struggling at the moment. I know there is nothing much i can do to help them, but at least what i know i can do now is to study hard, spend less money and not be a burden to them. I know i have to stay strong, no matter how worse i am feeling inside, they must not know, they had enough problems already to handle


I used to think that maybe i have finally found someone that i can relate to
but i know things suddenly seem to be different now
i know it was me who pushed you too hard few weeks ago that resulted in a negative reaction from you, thats why i can sense that u wanna keep a distance away from me, which is why i am also doing the same too..
i did step into ur shoes and think from your point of view. Your reaction is justified. It was me who has been too pushy about it and all i can do now is to say sorry.
I really regretted all these and i hope that things will not get any worse from here.
No matter what, i just want to thank you for all the things u have done so far. Your smses and quotes really brought me a lot of laughters and smiles back then... i will not trouble or disturb u anymore from now on.


To me, what matters most is that i know u are leading a fulfilling and happy life right now, and whenever u need help, i will do my best to help as much as possible
The rest is not important anymore


i am hanging on
but i am crumbling soon.


Quotes shared:
The family is a unit where all joys and sorrows are shared among its members. As a result, saddness is more than halved and happiness is more than doubled