2011

When problems come, it just comes together..
i know i have to hang on, stay strong,
but no, i really cannot take it anymore


Just came back from the hospital again,
It really hurts me to see my grandma at this current state.
Terminal stage cancer and just slipped into a coma stage.
Sometimes i wonder whether i have been a good grandson to her
I used to remember the days where i stayed over at her house during weekends
I used to chat with her through the wee hrs, go to market early in the morning with her and buy the ingredients to cook my fav dishes
Nw seeing her at this stage, she is not even 70, i am nt sure how long more she can hang on.
Sometimes i wondered, Is it better to let her continue to live like this as long as possible or should she be spared all these sufferings and leave this world?
Not just grandma, now my grandpa is also lying in hospital, it really sucks to see my dad working so hard and until so late everyday struggling for the finances to support the medical bills and our family. My mum has to go to hospital everyday to take care of them.
And now, my dad gt into some legal issues with his work.

I sometimes really dread to go home everyday. Now my home is not like the past where there are so much laughter. Everyday i go home, it is usually empty, parents will not be around, but i know how mentally tired they are and how much they are struggling at the moment. I know there is nothing much i can do to help them, but at least what i know i can do now is to study hard, spend less money and not be a burden to them. I know i have to stay strong, no matter how worse i am feeling inside, they must not know, they had enough problems already to handle


I used to think that maybe i have finally found someone that i can relate to
but i know things suddenly seem to be different now
i know it was me who pushed you too hard few weeks ago that resulted in a negative reaction from you, thats why i can sense that u wanna keep a distance away from me, which is why i am also doing the same too..
i did step into ur shoes and think from your point of view. Your reaction is justified. It was me who has been too pushy about it and all i can do now is to say sorry.
I really regretted all these and i hope that things will not get any worse from here.
No matter what, i just want to thank you for all the things u have done so far. Your smses and quotes really brought me a lot of laughters and smiles back then... i will not trouble or disturb u anymore from now on.


To me, what matters most is that i know u are leading a fulfilling and happy life right now, and whenever u need help, i will do my best to help as much as possible
The rest is not important anymore


i am hanging on
but i am crumbling soon.


Quotes shared:
The family is a unit where all joys and sorrows are shared among its members. As a result, saddness is more than halved and happiness is more than doubled